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Mon 06:09:39 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Good evening,E/everyone...tonight's topic is Mental Health and the Lifestyle.

Here is a link for this particular topic:

BDSM Rule Ideas for Mental Health

Here is another:

What Is Healthy and What Is Pathological in BDSM?

Mon 07:01:42 PM EDT Jun 14 Zilla . . . *smiling, pocketing something as I walk in and finding a seat to learn*

Mon 07:05:50 PM EDT Jun 14 Zilla . . . *reading links*

Mon 07:14:34 PM EDT Jun 14 Zilla . . . Good evening, LadyGwynethRose.. apologies on having missed the past few meetings.. I was traveling and unable to attend.

Mon 07:28:10 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Moves in where Master Tenricks shadows will be.

Mon 07:30:55 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Simply wanting time to reflect on something so important to all of us.

Mon 07:36:20 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . *Comes in and takes My place next to lilith.*
Hello there My dear precious one.

Mon 07:38:33 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Dark eyes lift up at seeing you. I decided to skip the chit chat and just come in.

Mon 07:38:52 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . kneels down onto the soft fur pillow besides Mistresses red velvet throne chair...makeing sure Her footstool is also ready

Mon 07:39:31 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . *My dark browns look downward to yours.* I very much understand lilith.

Mon 07:39:51 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Hello tenderheart

Mon 07:40:43 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . smileing hello M'Lord Tenrik

Mon 07:41:22 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Velvet . . . *slips quietly into the darkness to listen*

Mon 07:41:37 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Just Tenrik is ok with Me tenderheart.

Mon 07:41:51 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Hello Dark Velvet.

Mon 07:42:12 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . tenderheart hello and looking foward to the talk.

Mon 07:42:51 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . smiles* hello lilith

Mon 07:43:56 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . I agree, I read the reference notes and it sounds very nice.

Mon 07:55:25 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Velvet . . . *settles back in with My shades and a tea*

Mon 07:56:15 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler`s lady tiffany . . . ~entering and finding a seat~

Mon 07:56:38 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . *slipping in for the conversation*

Mon 07:57:06 PM EDT Jun 14 Zilla . . . *arriving at the correct time*

Mon 07:58:20 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Entering, seating Myself...* Good evening, E/everyone..thank Y/you for attending...so have Y/you looked at the links?

Mon 07:58:50 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . following right behind Mistress on my leash...kneeling down on the soft cool fur beside Her...

Mon 07:59:16 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . i looked at the main one posted in the header, but haven’t read the others

Mon 07:59:35 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . smiles warmly* hello chrissa

Mon 07:59:58 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Hello Gwyneth, I have and it was a good reference.*WS*

Mon 08:00:20 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Nodding* What do Y/you think of this post from the website?

It’s important to realize that negative emotions can affect anyone. Whether you identify as a D-type (Dominant, Master, Mistress etc.), s-type (submissive, slave, little etc.) or another personality type, role or identity, considerations for mental health can be weaved into our dynamics and relationships.

Mon 08:00:22 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . hi tenderheart *warm smile*

Mon 08:01:12 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Yes Gwyneth Rose, wanted to be here.

Mon 08:01:40 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Thank You, Tenrik and chrissa...I agree, it is a good reference...do Y/you think that mental health issues should be addressed with BDSM?? Or......??

Mon 08:01:40 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . i think it’s extremely important to recognize mental illness or just struggles in general do not discriminate on who has them. Doms are not infallible and can struggle with it just like submissives. It’s a human thing more than anything.

Mon 08:02:20 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Jealousy can ruin a relationship... definitely a negative emotion.

Mon 08:02:20 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . i think BDSM can absolutely be a helpful tool to address it. Maybe not completely, but in combination with a counselor and/or medication if needed!

Mon 08:02:52 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . ugh jealousy is the worst. to feel and to experience on the other end.

Mon 08:02:54 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . They have to but without fear of stigma.

Mon 08:03:09 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . i think its a very true statement Mistress...E/everyone is H/human... E/everyone has emotions to deal with...otherwise Y/you might as well build a Dom/me subby bot... Emotions in D/s relationships are inhearently deep... and mental health in the dynamic is especially important because of what is involved

Mon 08:03:25 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Gwyneth, That grabbed Me right off and yes it can affect anyone as well as be very much addressed always.

Mon 08:03:29 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Hello, lilith, glad you could make it!

Mon 08:04:34 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . just think of all the Bosses and stock brokers etc that go to professional Dom/me's for that emotional release of stress and also the mental alignment for that brief moment to not feel the emotional stress of being in charge

Mon 08:04:54 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Nodding thoughtfully* I saw several ways on the website that can be used to help during times of crisis, such as journaling or meditating and reaching out to the Dominant/submissive to be sure everything is well..did Y/you see any favorites Y/you might use during a time of crisis?

Mon 08:04:55 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . ~enters and settles in~

Mon 08:05:37 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . i liked the breathing rule one

Mon 08:05:41 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Good evening, judith and welcome...*warm smiles*

Mon 08:06:39 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . ~returns the warm smile to the beautiful Lady Gwyneth rose

Mon 08:06:42 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . I actually have used the journaling one AND the positive self talk before..if a submissive and yes, tenderheart, I am looking at you, begins negative self talk I use the 'STOP"..take a breath or three..and then W/we talk.

Mon 08:06:45 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . i also liked having a rule to meditate and start the day by sending a positive thought!

Mon 08:07:06 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . looks up to Mistress... several of the ones that were listed You have had me use both in the past and in the present Mistress...You helped me in the very beginning to journel to let out my feelings and emotions because of past being abused in a BdSm online relationship...and currently You also help me realign my thinking and meditations to make sure that i dont hurt myself of draining out my everything and then haveing nothing left to care for myself

Mon 08:07:35 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Use all of them daily and more.

Mon 08:08:40 PM EDT Jun 14 Zilla . . . I use meditation and other such tasks wherein I can slip my mind as it were.. to gain perspective of events or such.

Mon 08:08:43 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . smiles nodding up to Mistress* and it always helps me Mistress...but i also liked the point too that the Dom.me sub isnt a therapist also...and when i talk with You about something i take that VERY precious and dont over abuse it or throw everything in my head at You... or always be "bitching" lol* about problems of life etc that might come up that i deal with

Mon 08:09:47 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Exactly, tenderheart...I also saw on the website a designated 'neutral area' in which the Dominant and the submissive can meet either virtually or in reality and not be Dominant nor submissive, merely human...and talk..what do Y/you think of this idea?

Mon 08:09:59 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Meditation and careful self examination.

Mon 08:10:16 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . Just this weekend, I’ve been thinking about doing daily affirmations. I like the one that said “Master chose me.” - that’s a powerful phrase

Mon 08:11:10 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . I love the idea of a neutral area. Makes a lot of sense

Mon 08:11:29 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . I think it would be indeed,chrissa...too often a submissive feels as if he/she isn't 'enough' and think that "Dominant chose me" would be highly life affirming, I should think.

Mon 08:11:45 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nodding* yes chrissa...i liked that one too and Mistress has had me do that too in the past when i was first one of Her new subs in concideration and first collared to help me with a LOT of dealing with self worth issues ..especially when my old Domme would come back and try to undermine what good Mistress had done

Mon 08:11:45 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . *Listening to LadyGwynethRose* It's often hard to find a place where Y/you can be completely neutral zone.

Mon 08:12:20 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . I think it does too, judith...that way the Dominant and the submissive can hash out any problems, any mental health issues that T/they may be experiencing, such as a phobia that T/they might not have realized that T/they had..

Mon 08:12:39 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . I like that all can be used by either Dom or sub as well.
I think that should be a necessity Gwyneth, that time to be open and honest with O/one another. It can make a huge difference in so much.

Mon 08:12:51 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . I agree, M'Lord Dark Traveler..it IS difficult to find that neutral ground..

Mon 08:13:39 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . *coming in at the middle but throwing something out there*

In my line of work I deal with a lot of stress, people go getting sick and even an apparently healthy person being dead when I return the next day.

I deal with it though by making myself do one extra thing for a person living where I work so that they smile.

A joke, helping with their meal, just a smile.

I can take that little happy response from them and use it all day long until I can get home and destress there with zoning out to a favored show

Mon 08:13:39 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . True, Tenrik, but it is difficult to get to an absolutely neutral ground..maybe this would be place that O/one could be publically? A restaurant now that W/we are coming out of the pandemic?

Mon 08:14:18 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . That's a good idea Wuushy..an act of kindness, as it were..

Mon 08:15:05 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . I have a question. What if the Dominant or submissive is bi polar and has the possibility of manic ups and downs ? How should that be handled ?

Mon 08:15:27 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nods at the words of Wuushy...i saw something like that mentioned in the topics about doing a good thing a day and then letting that be a mental pick me up because of the good feeling from helping someone

Mon 08:16:51 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Well Gwyneth, I will say for Me and lilith it has been easy for U/us as W/we both have known each for so long and through that aspect it has been easy to find a common nuetral ground top talk. I will say here is also a great way to open up as well about any issues.

Mon 08:17:36 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . ~nodding at Wuushy's words~ a play it forward situation in a way

Mon 08:17:46 PM EDT Jun 14 Zilla . . . Apologies. I am having a RT event.. I will return when I can.

Mon 08:18:29 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Deal with the Bi polar person only after they are on well measured and controlled medication. Bi polar is very hard to deal with. Without medical assistance.

Mon 08:18:32 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Be well, M'Lord Zilla and safe journeys to You..

Mon 08:18:57 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Your place will be held zilla... *nods*

Mon 08:19:25 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . I agree M'Lord Dark Traveler..bipolar issues..actually any mental health issues..are nothing to be cavalier about. If it takes medication and/or therapy, then that is what should be used.

Mon 08:19:27 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . i also liked the one that mentioned how when the sub felt like he was going to hurt himself he told his Domme about it and She took his hands from him to hold them till he felt that feeling go away.... i know once when i was being kinda self destructive and i didnt realize it but Mistress saw it...She tied my hands down away from myself so i would not try to reach up and pull on and out my hair...

Mon 08:20:20 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . Those were my thoughts Dark Traveler and have often wondered if those that suffer with being Bi Polar should even take part in the lifestyle

Mon 08:20:39 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . and then of course Mistress checked on the list of medications i was given by my Dr and the side effects right away that one drug was indeed doing it and had me stop it before things got worse then to emediately call my Dr to report the issue so that it all got sorted out

Mon 08:21:47 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . tenderheart, thank you for bringing up the side effects od some drugs. Yes, it sure does happen.

Mon 08:21:59 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . I did do that, tenderheart..to stop you from self-harm. I think that A/anyone W/who has a mental health issue, as long as it is controlled, is able to participate in the Lifestyle, judith..

Mon 08:22:22 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . tenderheart{GRs alpha} you are one of the lucky few. your Mistress is spectacular in Her attention to the needs of the submissive that may even be unknown to the submissive.

Mon 08:22:44 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Listening, eyes reflective.

Mon 08:22:55 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nods* yes Tenrik She noticed it emediately and the change in the way i was acting...i wasnt even aware of it but She was paying attention and acted fast...so that post reminded me of what She did in my safety

Mon 08:23:36 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Agrees with the LadyGwynethRose regarding participation in the Lifestyle*

Mon 08:23:38 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . What do Y/you A/all think of the idea that ANYONE in the BDSM Lifestyle has mental health issues? Is that a fair assessment?

Mon 08:23:43 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . smiles and laughs* and a good use of bondage rope it was too M'Lord Dark Traveler

Mon 08:23:57 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . you are blessed with your Mistress tenderheart ~warm smiles~

Mon 08:24:38 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler`s lady tiffany . . . i don't think that is a fair assessment at all...

Mon 08:24:46 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . tenderheart, it is always good to talk to O/ones about any side effects as well as listen when they notice something is off kilter as well.

Mon 08:25:06 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . oh no Mistress...although that always leads to the misconception of anyone in the "deviant" lifestyle being classed as mentally unstable..although most of the old phychological profiles in the 50s to i think up to the early 2000's always classed the lifestyle as mentally abarrent

Mon 08:25:18 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . I will say this, just sitting here hearing some of this is hard. I knew it would be and came anyway. I have long been judged in here and it stopped me from being open for years. If you know anything about bi polar know that it has a long line of definations and levels of it. Know someone first before assuming that you know what it means for them.

Mon 08:25:31 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Please be more specific tiffany.

Mon 08:25:43 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . You know....the bipolar issue makes me remember an assignment I did in college where my thesis was that the majority of people involved in the lifestyle have some sort of emotional trauma in their past.

Exact results withstanding (thesis was right based on those surveyed) I think mental health plays a part at least in finding the lifestyle and that as long as its dealt with in an appropriate fashion there's no reason not to enjoy something you like.

Just don't let it become a crutch

Mon 08:25:46 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler`s lady tiffany . . . i think there is a lot to be said for finding healthy ways to explore sexuality.... and relationships... i don't really find anything wrong or deserving of a label of "mental health issue" in the bdsm lifestyle.

Mon 08:26:41 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . I agree with lady tiffany. I do not think all involved in the lifestyle have mental health issues. BUT if they do they should be communicated and if medications are involved a disclosure of what is being taken

Mon 08:29:06 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . I agree, lady tiffany and judith and lilith...whether or not O/one has mental health issues in the Lifestyle is T/their burden, as it were..what W/we should focus on is how W/we can help T/those W/who do have these issues, such as being sure there is medication taken (if appropriate), therapy done (again, if appropriate) and/ or....ready??? COMMUNICATING!!

Mon 08:29:16 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nodding* i agree with that as well judith...again Mistress knows the list of medications i am currently on and when W/we meet RT She always asks me...have You taken Your morning meds...or dont forget to take your evening meds...*lol* not that i ask Her to micromanage my medications...She just knows that i sometimes DO forget to take them...so She is just checking that my mental stability is always first

Mon 08:29:25 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . *smiling darkly*... Just because O/one enjoys BDSM does not mark them as having a mental health issue... in spite of the older Abnormal Psych Book definitions.

Mon 08:29:26 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . ~sends a warm hug to lillith~ It is time people accepted that mental health issues are no different to physical issues and stop judging

Mon 08:30:27 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . lillith? judged? Have you felt judged in the Castle Dungeon?

Mon 08:31:09 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Agrees with Glorys judith.

Mon 08:31:29 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Thank you judith I was told by One that many hold in high esteme in here once that I shouldn't even be in the life style. Most of the time only one or two in my heart know what is going. That is the comment that stopped me from talking for years in here.

Mon 08:31:45 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . I would not see it as micromanaging tenderheart more She is taking care of Her submissive physically and mentally

Mon 08:32:21 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . i think along with the lines of lilith though that society also judges one if Y/you are on medication for bipolar or some other emotional trubles...it used to be that way with therapy when someone would say that...there still are stigma's attached to certain health issues and O/one might be reluctant to reveal that information to the Dom/me or to Their sub

Mon 08:32:39 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . *looking to lilith*

Why do I get the feeling I know who that is....

*soft laugh*

I'm sorry that was said, if you truly love something, you deserve to be involved in it

Mon 08:32:41 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Dark Traveler absolutely crossed post. Another romour went around once that I was in a hospital which has never happened for those reasons. I was at my brothers wedding came from a couple oother higher up people here.

Mon 08:34:03 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nodding to judiths comment...indeed She does *bright smile to Mistress* :)

Mon 08:34:42 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Wuushy I'm sorry I don't know you or if I do I don't recognize you from here. I got over it and debated and wasn't going to bring it up and decided, dramtic sigh that I needed to teach on it but most of those that accuse don't care to really know the person.

Looks up at Tenrick with a lopsided grin. I'll shut up now.

Mon 08:35:15 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . No, lilith, don't shut up...you deserve to be heard...

Mon 08:36:18 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Again, F/folks, it is about communicating, needs...wants....likes...dislikes...desires and most importantly any, repeat, ANY issues that may affect the D/s R/relationship..

Mon 08:36:22 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . ~frowns as I listen to lilith~ I am truly sorry you experienced that kind of judgement please know when I made the comment about those that are Bi Polar I often wondered if they should be within the lifestyle were thoughts as I went through my learnings over the years and not a judgement by any means

Mon 08:36:26 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . no no dont feel you have to shut up lilith *smileing* it fits just right with the topic

Mon 08:36:46 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . lilith... there are many things said in the Dungeon by people who use BDSM like a weapon. They are ill informed and rumors of what they say should be ignored. you are a long term member of O/our community... I don't think they should be able to keep you from talking or even sharing that which you have heard. I'd like to end that kind of nonsense in the Castle Dungeon.

Mon 08:36:59 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . *Looks to My lilith.* you are doing very well My dear one.
Hell, I've had My own problems as well with others that don't want to know more about Me than can I swing a flogger. To Me that is never a good sign of a Dom or sub.

Mon 08:37:49 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Agrees with tenderheart{GRs alpha}... right on target for this evenings topic.

Mon 08:38:36 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . it always truely boils down to ...communication... the big C word... in ANY relationship...vanilla...BdSm...FLR...MLR....littles...whatever the dynamic...comunication comunication comunication

Mon 08:38:53 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Thank Y/you all. I want My lilith to voice things in here as much as she is able to do so.

Mon 08:39:08 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . judith I am sure that some people pick up onit since I have let it out a little more in the last few years. That's why I said there are many levels of it. People have it a lot worse then I do and probably shouldn't be in it. There are time that I can tell Tenrick I can't do it today because I am much less affected by it. Mine is bipoloar 2 as oppose to being really manic I don't have that part.

Mon 08:39:46 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . You have a great deal to be proud of Lord Tenrik... You have chosen wisely.

Mon 08:40:14 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . This is why I personally am offended when F/folk use the term 'retard' to denigrate A/another P/person...again, a mental health issue is being...well...denigrated..much like calling F/folk 'crazy' or 'stupid', etc. etc. et al

Mon 08:41:03 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . I thank You Dark Traveler. she is wonderful and does make Me very proud of My precious one. W/we are basically T/two of a kind.

Mon 08:41:12 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . *chuckling and the line running through my head...-I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested-*

Mon 08:41:31 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . So did not want this to be me talking wasn't why I came, looks up at Tenrick. But maybe I helped change things for whoever comes in next.

Mon 08:41:36 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . LadyGwynethRoses favorite point tenderheart{GRs alpha}... Communication. It is the foundation that O/our Community is built upon.

Mon 08:41:49 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Yes! I do so agree Gwyneth. I hate those words so much as well.

Mon 08:42:08 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Grinning to Wuushy* T/those of U/us of a certain age can remember a song, 'they are coming to take me away'...

Mon 08:43:06 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . of course it reminds me of how in the 1800s and early 1900s the UK had the most houses of "flagelation" as "therapy" for hysterics for women and also release of "stress" for men...in fact Britin had one of the First and most FAMOUS Dominatrix ...the Progenator of O/our lifestyle all in the name of treatment for emotional conditions

Mon 08:43:14 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . education is what is needed lilith as I have no doubt many are too afraid to voice their mental health issues. I am proud of your courage

Mon 08:43:16 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . *Looks down into your eyes.* Yes, maybe you did. Or even for Me as well. you do know so much about Me and who I am as well.

Mon 08:43:29 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Words can hurt, Tenrik..and words can influence..so yes, I try to speak with well thought out intentions, but even I make mistakes...I know,I know, hard to believe but it's true!

Mon 08:43:30 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . *groans*

I remember that song....

I'm old aren't I??

Mon 08:43:40 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . lol I literarry begged for someone to take me away today when I was losing it over a lost cell phone. Found it in about 5 minutes but I did say outloud after a lot of other things that I didn't care where they put me.

Mon 08:43:42 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . laughing* at the mention of that song by Mistress

Mon 08:44:25 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . tenderheart any time you want I am around too talk to.

Mon 08:44:39 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . Thankfully, a lot about mental health has been destigmatized in later generations.

Mon 08:44:55 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . So am I, Wuushy, so am I...*grinning* However, as has been said before...know better, do better..

Mon 08:44:59 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . smiles* i as well lilith :) belive me i understand so much...

Mon 08:45:15 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . I have often said that I love pain in here. Now you all know why I say it centers me.

Mon 08:45:40 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . chrissa

That is one good thing about the "younger" generation. Stuff that needs to be destigmatized is being done as such

Mon 08:46:29 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . To the Happy Farm where things are beautiful all the time... they're coming to take Me away... Ho Ho, Hee Hee...

Mon 08:46:31 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nodding* sometimes it takes embraceing the dark of us that we can move forwards ... and O/ours can always be a help in some shape or form... just my own personal ovservance of what i have dealt with

Mon 08:46:57 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . I agree, Wuushy, and it is high time, too..although the DSM 5 moves at a snail on the back of a turtle's pace, it IS moving..

Mon 08:47:03 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . agreed chrissa it is getting better all the time

Mon 08:47:47 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Grinning at M'Lord Dark Traveler..* And You are welcome for the earworm..and you are right, tenderheart...it takes the embrace of the S/shadow S/side to fully appreciate the Light.

Mon 08:48:09 PM EDT Jun 14 Odysseus . . . Chews my lip absorbing

Mon 08:48:25 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . grinning* in my case Mistress it took a Demoness to help me defeat my personal deamons

Mon 08:48:25 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . This is the song that never ends.....

*innocent smile....now THAT will cause mental health issues*

Mon 08:49:19 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Judith you know how close Yours and I were/are now you know why. He saved me and taught me much about the balance of it. Not normally one to talk about others but this is in good.

Mon 08:49:45 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Groans at Wuushy* Thank You so much...but I digress...can W/we agree that it is necessary for O/one to mention if T/they have a mental health issue?? Can W/we agree that there are concepts in place that could help?

Mon 08:50:39 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . ~warm smiles~ yes I do know lilith He is a good Man and I am thankful He was a guiding light for you

Mon 08:51:07 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . I'd honestly have to say it depends on the issue as to when it should be mentioned.

Some I wouldn't want to just come out and say in the beginning of something with potential partner, but others definitely need to be discussed right away

Mon 08:51:08 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . I sent KrymSin the song of the muppets that goes on forever one night. I almost sent it to Lady Rose but she got picked instead since I knew she was up late.

Mon 08:51:12 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . *nods to Wuushy* as a Millennial, we suffered from the Boomer stigma on mental illness, and i know so many of my friends in therapy, having no issue discussing it... it isn't being "broken"

Mon 08:51:54 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . *groans at that awful song* You must be a Sadist...

Mon 08:52:00 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Glorys judith, you seem to have touched a nerve here this evening. I would thank you for doing so.

Mon 08:52:07 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Heheheheh, lilith...thank you so much!

Mon 08:52:18 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . i think it is definitely necessary to mention that in the vetting phase.

Mon 08:52:22 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Nods to Wuushy, Dark Traveler has know to forever because I have really screwed up at times. Now maybe it is more unstood why. But the flip side with Tenrick and I is we already know from being frirends for so long.

Mon 08:53:03 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nods to Wuushy... definately something to be brought up in the beginnings of the R/relationship so that like everything on limits fetishes etc...can be brought out into the light so that E/eacho can help the O/other... makes everything much smoother

Mon 08:53:21 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . ~soft nod of respect to Dark Traveler~ it is a topic close to my heart

Mon 08:53:26 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Can W/we also agree that if there is a mental health issue, Dominant or submissive, it does NOT preclude T/them from participating in the Lifestyle?

Mon 08:53:39 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . grimaces and looks up to Mistress thinking of one PARTICULAR song....not gonna hum it...

Mon 08:53:56 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . To the Happy home where things are beautiful all the time....

Mon 08:54:41 PM EDT Jun 14 Odysseus . . . One last thing...it's communication between the Two that's important. Not communication with everyone but your partner...

Mon 08:54:51 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Tender smile up to Lady Rose for saying that question. A soft thank you to all for how what I said on the past in here was received and how we have all changed.

Mon 08:55:00 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Snarks looking to tenderheart..* la la la..la la la la..

Mon 08:55:32 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . *Smiles* Very true for U/us lilith. W/we have talked quite a lot over the years about so much in those aspects of U/us and who W/we really are.

Mon 08:55:32 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . I would agree with that Lady Gwyneth Rose as long as the mental health issues are communicated

Mon 08:55:46 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nodding..Mistress knows too that i had to overcome and embrace my emotional programming to think of myself as bad..abhorent...extreme... things of that nature that had been emotionally ingrained in my life and upbringing...to think that i was just...wrong for thinking the way i was... it was a large emotional hurdle

Mon 08:56:07 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . plugs my ears as Mistress starts to sing and hum...*

Mon 08:56:24 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . very good point Odysseus

Mon 08:56:33 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Agreed, Odysseus...one of the 'rules' for mental illness in that website is."slave shall not entertain narcissists by continuing non-constructive arguments with any toxic persons." I think this is a good rule for A/anyone...no sense beating O/one's head against a brick wall.

Mon 08:56:46 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Odysseus, I believe that Communication is the key task with A/all W/we encounter in O/our daily lives. So much foolish angst is caused by the failure to Communicate.

Mon 08:56:48 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . in essence Mistress did an emotional deprogram on me...

Mon 08:56:53 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . *winks at chrissa*

I am....among other things

*chuckling*

Mon 08:56:55 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . I do agree Gwyneth, very much so.

Mon 08:56:56 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . It the same with everything it has to be sane. If I'm flying into subspace or very off there's a ccouple that I expect to stop me Tenrick of course the main one now. If I'm not safe then it goes to a different level.

Mon 08:56:58 PM EDT Jun 14 Odysseus . . . Not sure I am convinced Lady GR. I think that a sub with issues is doable. A dom with issues...is a lil iffy in my book...

Mon 08:57:10 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Nodding to tenderheart..* It took Me nearly two and a half years just to get you to the point of truly trusting Me.

Mon 08:57:56 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . It is particularly important in O/our community... however, it's not limited to O/our community.

Mon 08:57:56 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . tenderheart, it is so hard to overcome... what helped you most? i have abandonment issues and it gets triggered every 6 months or so... and i'm struggling to re-wire it.

Mon 08:58:07 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Hmmm...might it depend on what the issues are, M. Odysseus?? For example, a Dominant has chronic depression...should that preclude Them?

Mon 08:58:15 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . Yes Lady Gwyneth Rose....can totally agree on that.

I'd not be here if it was otherwise

Mon 08:58:28 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Only Once in here did I do something in rt...and Glory slammed me against the wall in the dungeon. I never did it again and I adored him for doing it. It's part of talking with each other and being safe in play.

Mon 08:58:33 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nodding... and alot of help by another true friend who helped tip me back into focus Mistress...Lady Cass...She always helped me to stop thinking stupidly and point out what was reality and not to get out of track when i was first with You

Mon 08:59:00 PM EDT Jun 14 Glorys judith~@~ . . . RT is pulling at me. Thank you Lady Gwyneth Rose for hosting another wonderful time out topic

Mon 09:00:00 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Take care judith, and send My care to Glory for Me as well.

Mon 09:00:14 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Be well, judith, and thank you for suggesting the topic...*warm smiles*

Mon 09:00:15 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . Be well judith

Mon 09:00:23 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . chrissa...i was fortunate as i said to have a true true friend with Lady Cass...She was always there to listen when i would freek out over just a little mistake i had made when i was first beginning with Mistress...She was a mental and spirutal guide to me to get me onto my own 2 feet in my fist times..and helped me to bond even more with Mistress as i grew *big smile*

Mon 09:00:40 PM EDT Jun 14 Odysseus . . . Scratching my head....if a relationship is built on one leading, and one taking that leap of faith and submitting.....then the dominant has to lead. If due to illness he/she can't be reasonable and responsible.....I am not sure how one follows...

Mon 09:00:43 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Safe journeys judith.

Mon 09:01:06 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler`s lady tiffany . . . ~soft smile at the mention of my old friend Lady Cassandra~

Mon 09:01:19 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Judith have a good night.

Mon 09:01:23 PM EDT Jun 14 Odysseus . . . Looks at the time

Mon 09:01:42 PM EDT Jun 14 chrissa . . . that sounds like such a good Friend to have, tenderheart. *nods and smiles*

Mon 09:01:43 PM EDT Jun 14 Odysseus . . . Wraps My cloak about me.....

Mon 09:01:45 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Ok, I do have depression as well as PTSD, should I not come here then? Also should I not be able to find one that can understand Me?

Mon 09:01:53 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Nodding again to M. Odysseus* I understand what You are saying, but again, what if the Dominant has...say..depression and it is being controlled with medication and/or therapy?

Mon 09:02:05 PM EDT Jun 14 Odysseus . . . I need to be somewhere......have a good night

Mon 09:02:24 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . No one is infallible Odysseus.

If a Dominant has to be perfect to be a leader.....and they say they're a leader....I'd say they were a liar.

You can be Dominant and have issues, you just have to be willing to work through them.

I think that's A bigger mark in the pro column for a Dominant that they can admit they need help of some sort

Mon 09:02:45 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Be well, M. Odysseus and safe journeys to You...*warm smiles*

Mon 09:02:47 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . Safe journeys Odysseus. *nods*

Mon 09:02:55 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . We all have our struggles is my view. Each one is different.

Mon 09:04:02 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Agreed, lilth...so let Me ask this before W/we close TimeOut..would Y/you like to revisit this topic again sometime in the future?

Mon 09:04:16 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nodding* looks up at Mistress...i know i have been able to help You through some tough times as well Mistress...and each time i think of what W/we have gone through i am VERY thankfull that i was there and that You allowed me to help and be a support for You as much as You have been and are for me

Mon 09:04:29 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler`s lady tiffany . . . Tenrik... i don't think anyone here should answer that... what i would say is that is something you should take the advise of Your doctors on....

Mon 09:04:56 PM EDT Jun 14 lilith~~~ . . . Lots to learn and hear on it.

Mon 09:05:40 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Ruffling tenderheart's hair..*

Mon 09:05:42 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . nodding smileing* i think so Mistress..it is indeed a VERY good and poignant topic

Mon 09:06:02 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . So....should W/we revisit this topic sometime???

Mon 09:06:14 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Velvet . . . *slides shades back up and fades after an interesting Time Out*

Mon 09:06:43 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Waving to Ms. Dark Velvet as She departs*

Mon 09:07:02 PM EDT Jun 14 Dark Traveler . . . I would be surprised to hear that tonight's examination of the topic covered all of it's elements My Dark Twin Sister.

Mon 09:07:28 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . Oh, yes, I think its a good topic to revist Gwyneth.

Mon 09:08:07 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . *Nodding cheerfully* Then, at a later time, W/we will revisit this topic..again..and now, I must thank E/everyone for attending tonight's TimeOut...most informative and again I am enlightened by O/other's V/viewpoints..does A/anyone have any last thoughts?

Mon 09:08:46 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . smileing up at Mistress* a very wonderful topic Mistress...You always pick the ones that pick O.our brains *loL*

Mon 09:09:09 PM EDT Jun 14 Tenrik . . . I so very much thank You Gwyneth for these nights and topics.

Mon 09:09:36 PM EDT Jun 14 Wuushy . . . Yes, I do....

*evil grin*

I love you, you love me, we're a happy family

*snickers*

Later y'all!

Mon 09:11:29 PM EDT Jun 14 LadyGwynethRose . . . Argggh, Wuushy! Come, tenderheart...time for U/us to depart...be well, E/everyone...*Rising, taking his leash into My hand and gone..*

Mon 09:11:54 PM EDT Jun 14 tenderheart{GRs alpha} . . . smiles* yes Mistress...following behind Mistress...and fades to RL

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